Child Abuse and Sexual Harrasement in the society

Studies show that over 95% of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child's family.

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Child sexual abuse is also known as child sexual molestation. It is a secret crime involving a range of indecent sexual activities between an adultand a child.


According to the National Violence Against Children Survey, it established that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 10 boys experienced sexual violence before the age of 18.

TYPES OF MOLESTATION

-Defilement
-Rape
-Fingering
-Making a child watch pornography
-Exposing the genital to kids
-Indecent touching
-Fondling etc

WHO COULD ABUSE YOUR CHILD?

Studies show that over 95% of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child’s family.

ABUSERS ARE MOSTLY NOT STRANGERS

They are right there in your house, co-tenants, family members,neighbours. Their friends in school, hostel, classmates,class/school teachers, madrasah teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, step fathers, grand fathers, imams, choir masters, pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family /school drivers, After school/home lesson teachers, mummy’s friend, daddy’s friend, caregivers, strangers…….. the list can go on.
Please, do not ask if any of the above is possible because,there is no case of any of the above that we have not seen.

CAUSES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

. Parental negligence
. Carelessness
. Non- challant attitude.
. Peer pressure

It is as bad as No one can be trusted

We have a child presently carrying a baby that belongs to her father

OTHER CAUSES

. Absentee parents.
. Parents who do not observe.
. When d kids are not informed as to what sexual abuse is and why they should guard against it……

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WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD BE SEXUALLY ABUSED?

✓On your bed
✓Right under your nose, under your roof
✓In the school enviroment- class,toilet etc
✓Hostel
✓Parties
✓ In their room (siblings)
✓Deserted/Abandoned places
✓ When you are distracted

Perpetrators look for opportunities.
5mins is enough to cause a life long damage

HOW DO PAEDOPHILES GET THE VICTIMS?

1.Grooming

Child grooming
Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child’s inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. -Wikipedia-
Gaining the trust of a minor with the intention of having sex relationship with them.

2.Baits
a. Emotional bait
b. Gift bait
c. Financial bait
d. Familiarity & Respect bait.
them.

HOW TO IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE ABUSER

A. Always trying to be around your child or vice versa
B. Child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights d abuser or when d abuser is around.
C. Easily and conviniently accept to care for your child while you are away.
D. Can be hard on the child especially if the child is rejecting his moves
Etc

If any of the above is observed, please, shine your eyes. Or sometimes, your child might feel uncomfortable /rejecting to go to the person when you send him or her Or even go for holiday.

Sexual abuse happens among siblings, set rules, seperate their rooms, seperate their beds.

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We had a case of twins having sex with each other. When they were asked, they said: we see mum and dad do same.

Why should we be that careless?
Because of the carelessness of both parents,their innocent minds were polluted and their lives were destroyed. Also be mindful of what your children see on the television, your phones or social media. Watch their friends closely.

WHAT A PERPETRATOR SAYS TO A CHILD WILLING TO SPEAK OUT?

•I will kill you
•You will die
•Your mummy will hate you
•Your mummy will beat you
•Your mummy will blame you.
•Your mummy and your daddy will die.
•He could cut the child, lick the blood and says ‘ this is a blood convenant between us ,the day you tell is the day you die ‘our children must know in their subconscious that these are lies.

The SRR
Teach your child

S – Shout/scream
R – Run
R – Report

POSSIBLE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED

✓Isolation
✓Aggressiveness
✓Anxiety/Fear
✓Difficulty in walking
✓Sudden drop in academic performance
✓Poor social interaction and uncontrollably display of inappropriate sexual behaviours.

OTHERS
✓Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Their dressing is important, dress to cover them pls….Boys & girls alike. Teach them privacy. “Do not see or touch my private parts” .They must knock and seek permission before they enter your room or another person’s room.
It is wrong to bath them together irrespective of sex.

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PLEASE NOTE

Children never lie about abuse If your child tells u someone is trying to mess with him or her…. Please believe the child and respond appropriately by reporting to the authorities… Police, NGO’s, sexual referral centers, lawyers and confronting the perpetuartor or individual.

EFFECT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

-The abused child could become a serial abuser

  • Be exposed to multiple abuse
    -Depression
    -Suicidal thoughts
    -Stigma
    -Guilt
    -Lifelong psychological trauma
    -Aggression
    -Withdrawn
    -Infected with STDs
    Etc

THE BOYS

More often than not, we pay more attention to the girls than the boys.
With my years of experience, boys are mostly victims- anal sex but because we do not pay attention.
For them, healing is a terrible process and if care is not taken, the walls of their anus may collapse and decay.

Something might just be happening and u perceive not. Do not be a hard mum/dad. Strike a balance between love and discipline.
Give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Eduacation.
Tell them what nobody must do with their body and what they must never do to another person be it their peer or an adult.
Tell them to speak out.
In the house, everyone must respect one another’s privacy.

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