There are demographic changes in the world today that should bring an end to heart break, love for passing time, betrayal, deception and waste of time. There is shrinking in what I can call “marriage demographics”- i.e. the scarcity of men due to insecurity and occupational mortality, high rate of divorce and widows as evidenced in Borno and Yobe States; too many matured men and ladies without first marriage due to unemployment, fear of poverty and westernization, etc.
The foregoing is enough a reason to redefine the concept of love. This redefinition will help in fortifying and solidifying the institution of marriage. Love should by definition be either a kind of relationship that can lead partners to marital union or the actual marital relationship between couples.
Thus, love is ideally a journey to marriage and courtship is a miniature marriage. During courtship, lovers should be loyal to each other, respect each other, responsive and sensitive to the feelings of other, not to pass time and ditch each other afterwards.
To this end, expressing adoration towards someone should be guided by caution. This is because the word “I love you” is a promise and a trust. It should be treated with utmost veneration. “I love you” is uttered based on the special feelings you have towards someone so special.
You also attached special importance to that person and, as such, the recognition should be reflected on the words we used to express the special feelings we have towards that special person.
Once expressed, the promise of love must not be broken. If you say it to someone, you must be up and doing to fulfill the promise. Failure to do that, one will live a life of regret.
For example, in the field of gerontology (scientific study of aging process), it is believed that good lifestyle in one’s youthhood determines his/her happiness and feeling of self -fulfillment in his advanced age. Womanising and betraying lover’s trust hunts people to their old hood, with sad ending and regrets. Their past nasty life is often repeated in the love life of their off springs. Because what you did to someone must directly rebound against you or indirectly against your off springs.
Do not forget that this is a Science, not a speculation or superstition (Read chapter one: Sociology of Love and Attraction is a Science).
Excerpt from Chapter 4: Courtship is a Miniature Marriage.
Jamilu Ibrahim Mukhtar writes from Jigawa, can be reached via email@example.com